And now I am Mama…

Born April 15th, 2016 at 8:58pm via a non emergency, emergency c section at Legacy Meridian Hospital in Tualatin, OR… My little Eloise Azure Walden Pursell has made me into the mother the world so frequently saw within me.

My little fire baby, Aries sun, Leo moon, Scorpio rising, Taurus mercury… I could go on and on. I read her chart and I already see so much accuracy in what is described.

Little things like, she is influenced by her father and she received non contradictory messages from parents in childhood- ring with such truth already. I feel so excited.

She barely cries, other than what I would call communication crying to let us know that she needs a diaper change… She’s still hungry and wants more boob or bottle… Or that she pooped again and doesn’t want to sit in it, even though we just changed her 10 minutes before.

She is already just at a week and a day old mostly smiles. Our touch calms almost everything wrong for as long as is needed to get her into the right situation (back to the car or to where a supply is) to handle all her needs and both Kyle and I are so on top of reading her facial expressions that she has no need most of the time to cry, even to communicate. I notice the only time she really gets fussy is sometimes she is cold during a diaper change and sometimes she wants my boobs to be a little easier to suckle on… But then I rub my face to her face,  sing to her and keep repositioning her and my breast so that she has the angle she needs to get a good latch. The feeling of us locking eyes, I am touched each moment by everything about her and I’m enchanted my her alertness and frequently interactive states. She watches everything. Which makes sense, Kyle and I are teaching her, showing her what it means to be human, to be an engaged part of this world.

She loves my mother, upon discussion it’s likely because my Mom smells similar to me. Eloise trusts us. She trusted my mother and was so relaxed every time during the week my Mom was here. Elo has continued go be super relaxed and 97%-100% always at ease, even when she is passing gas and becoming familiar with how it feels to frequently “go to the bathroom”, she seems more simply engaged with the sensations and less bothered by it, like so many people seem to insist she is supposed to be.

It was an interesting delivery. Full of manifestations of my deepest long held fears and the key was always surrendering into the moment and trusting that someone knew, and that I could and would be connected with what I needed to be connected with to have the best outcome for me and my little one possible, occur.