How much of my life do I feel brought alive by?
How much of what I do every day serves the progression of my life towards the feelings I desire above all others?
How can I instill more habits more frequently that deepen my resonance with all that I desire to experience?
How much of my life am I simply used to and how much do I actually enjoy?
The thoughts that swirl in my head as I watch in patient observation, my theories of self propulsion rustle new shoots of growth in metaphors out my temples.
To experience something I have never experienced before I must do things I have never done before. So much of this is inevitable, but when the clarity is not there, interwoven will be mismatched elements derived from that misrepresentation within the mindspace.
As I contemplate the moments soon to be beheld with my little newborn little one here in the next couple months, I feel such patient elation for the opportunity to naturally integrate consistency into every moment of my life. The balance will be achieved. Such progression will be inevitable on an intuitive level purely based in my deepest need to infuse connection and loving meaning into my life, into every life I touch. My little Eloise will be a fixation of open flowing attention and priority easily. This is something that is already happening so naturally for both Kyle and I. It feels really, really good. Like opening to seeking and allowing myself to embrace all that I am expanding into- literally, figuratively and every shade in between. The progress that unfolds to reveal myself and my yearnings to create into this world of post manifestational shared reality brings me wider and more subtle layers of sensation, feeling, emotion, thoughts to observe, sit with, open to, open with, breathe into, clarify, release… Like the piquing forward to sniff to settling of kitten whiskers to her face, I receive the shifting of the ecosystem of my co created environment in undulating waves of understanding. I breathe more. I pause more. I allow the space in between to expand as a vessel for my awareness of the present now. The breeze against my cheek, the sun warming my back holds my attention longer than any yelling or conversation, other than to pause, take it all in and smile. The cacophony of life fills me with peace. I rest in motion, a perfect expression of imperfections made beautiful, walking my talk through the vibe coming off my hips all giggling with life. I love the skin I am in. I love this beautiful world of contrast and clarity. I love that what I think about, what I focus on amplifies, exponentially, steadily. The odds are in my favor, always, because I believe it so. Belief is the center of my growth, every change, every shift of every known attachment to detachment. My gift of constant celebration into the mindflow of the Universe. I am delight, jubilation, ever patient, smiling my happy glow of surrender into the ride that feels so right. I open my heart more as I lean into the void within me to hear the whispers cascade from my highest soul. Whispers of the true textures of success and fulfilling life through love. My place, my purpose is mine of my own making. The faithful tone of my inner tember, the tremors that shake my roots, the crystalline grounding of my soul to this present dimension, our playful plane of manifestational existence.
I breathe. I drink warm water, flavored with lemon juice. Magnesium drinks fizz up my days… Perhaps my resistance for the first 28, 29 years of my life was based in the deep Knowing that one day consistency was an inevitable evolution of my development on this Earthly experience? I have felt that my reflexive resistance is often the origin of my most fantastic surrenderings to what is in the process of changing into… Like the seeming contradiction of contrast zeros in on all of my key holes that need special attention to turn open the door for me to step through to the next chapter. My life progresses. My experience unfurling wider and more complex, more simple and expertly sounded out into what is all. I am my own unique expression, never to be lived again. As much as we are inseparably ONE.
I breathe.