There has been a profound and progressive shift in my focus over the last few years that has heightened in my life the aspects that I am feeling drawn to delve into, they build and link- creating this other me to emerge. As I have been studying and contemplating the Gene Keys, my awareness of my catalytic nature has popped up again as a key component of my role in the nature flow of relationships. We each have the styles of engagement that mold and manage the movement and growth if every interaction and relationship connection… and they all stem from a certain perspective held inside on the person that I am and what that means about the people I am around. I determine my world, my reality- yet I feel driven none the less- to seclude, to focus on myself, my love, my little one, my fruiting reality that needs all the time to BE into Beingness. The more I can sit with the uncertainty of my life and how it will look- focusing on how I need to feel, the better my mind feels peace, and my heart feels love unfurling for all- especially those who bring in my struggle, my dance into the gift of perseverance and my resonance in the Siddhi of Honor.
When I was younger, say my life up until early twenties, I had the hardest time sitting with feelings and unfinished events. I constantly felt like I needed to be moving things along quicker in my emotional engagements- like the natural thrum of everything was just too slow- I had absorbed the harried, the rushed, the hurry to wait mentality through my years of fretting that there is never enough time.
But there is always enough time. Really, this is the truth of the third perspective- the understanding that rests outside of the time illusion, that beckons us with every whisper on the wind like the beat of hummingbird wings- to pause, to step back, to blink and breathe it all in those moments longer. To sit in the stillness of the present now that rests in connection with all eternity- for if there is not time- there is only eternity, really.
This realization always leads my mind back to the calm patience within that Knows it’s all okay- even the scary, clearly f*cked up stuff that has been needing to be drawn to the surface for so long is bubbling up and releasing, being felt and yes, being cleared- transmuted when exposed wide open to the light of life, of the essence of love that shines inside each of us. That we mirror and reflect as the Divine that is each and every one of us is the Divine.
We are all LOVE seeking to love and be loved. So often though, I notice the resistance to ask and the resistance to receive proliferate throughout the present humans. My beautiful souls living in these sacred energy holographic embodiment… ahhh, even when I am sad, in pain there sits this amusement in my background. My higher self often giggles through my deepest pains as much as she holds me. I am a person often dragged down into the shadow of seriousness. Which activates the shadow of constriction active in my radiance as well. I focus on the understanding rooted in my Knowing that Everything IS IN Divine Order. Nothing is not perfect, all is perfect. We as the individualized beings living the expansion of this experience now cannot linearly be aware of all the design. We adhere to the flow of good feelings and the information bequeathed to adjust my sail from the more painful, awkward feelings that pop up inevitably in the progression of experience.
The deeper the surrender into faith, the more there is space in the moments to Be That Which Accepts and Experiences. It is through the every day moments that I find my deepest embrace into the mystery and my clinging to the stories of my life begins to fade into new splashes of cultivated in thought experiences.
Now, I am no way saying that my life is always easy- sometimes I get caught up in fighting and seeing flaws everywhere in everything- allowing myself to activate demagnetizing vocabulary back into my spouted vernacular and I struggle more than you could ever even begin to imagine. These have been the greatest teaching to my awareness of what it means, in all the little ways, to cling to resistance- to muddle around holding myself to the ground- being boring and dull, helplessly self-obsessed, constricted and serious. Nothing seems to go right, everything is a mass of nasty hiccups- and I find myself crying to feel the sweet release of the energy that is craved, demanded, yearned for to reset my inner stream back into Surrender into Miracles that ARE in every breath, that are the sun ticking across our sky, that is the Universe around me- that is the Universe inside me, inside you.
Everything is perfect. Try that on for taste at the tip of your tongue. Keep saying it til you believe it in your own voice. Comment to me the experiences you have through this unfolding. Enjoy. <3