Sometimes, a fresh start is in order. As a life-long struggler with the (partially) inherited habits of hoarding; I know this yearning more acutely than many, I feel. The desire my heart has for organized space, flow, open, voluminous width and soaring heights is in direct contradiction and contrast to the piles of chaotic scramble that is my living space.
Clothing gets strewn and washed weekly, thanks to my incredible Beloved’s connection to more mundane tasks. Sometimes, I find myself forgetting that I was almost to the point of being organized all on my own.
Now, I’ve sought help. I’ve read books upon books, printed lists and read blog, after blog, after blog on the topics of clutter control, paper sorting, time management, DIY storage and clever ideas for creating a home for everything in my house and more and more and more than I could ever count (or recall)!
Recently, my focus has shifted to clarification and refinement by means of mass purging, release and letting go. So often the once powerful chime ins from my mind fall in line with the disputable ease of Wisdom’s Magic Broom come to clear away that which weighs me down, because I have long since held on to it past it’s time of use and purpose in my life and energy field.
I think, and feel, that that has been what has been most shocking, most throwing for me about the procession of events as they have occurred through my last year. When I was approaching my birthday last year, I was in a very different place with my relationships with my family, with K, with my social network in Eugene… I was still swirling and whirling in self worth angst and confusion from being brushed off without almost any understanding or clear feelings as to why by many close, new friends consecutively. I was having a very hard time rectifying the new constructs I had been erecting within my Self within the last year or so before that.
I continuously feel aware of how I am like a being that sheds my identity, as if skin I outgrew. I feel that is similar to the roles I take. I recognize that the way that I have felt so strongly and starkly draw to force a reinvention of my social media presences is an extension of this same desire to be constantly growing and ever inventing myself to be more of Who I Really Am.
Am I alone in this feeling? I think, I observe, I feel that I am not. Once, in an altered state, I reached the articulation of understanding that we are the Beings that change, as the hawk is a Being that flies and rides the air currents.
Maybe that is why this is a constant theme in my life, maybe I am born of the purpose to Know our Human Purpose and share it with y’all. Ahhh, maybe, maybe, maybe… Like a fresh page in a brand new note book, my first entry is penned.
With Loving Contemplation,
Artemis